There is an emerging field called Biomimicry, which is a new discipline that studies nature’s best ideas and then imitates these designs and processes to solve human problems. The central premise is that nature, which is imaginative by necessity, has already solved many of the problems we are grappling with. Animals, plants, and microbes are the skillful engineers. They have found what … [Read more...]
Love v. Fear: Their Day In Court
Clerk: In the Matter of Love V. Fear (Defendant), I hereby call this session to order. (Fear is ready to take the stand in its defense. The clerk swears in the defendant. Love is relaxed but alert.) Clerk: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Fear: Ummm... well... I'm not sure I can do that. (The courtroom stirs. Jurors shift in their seats and look with … [Read more...]
Now You See Me, Now You Don’t
If you've ever put something new out into the world - something creative or entrepreneurial, for instance - you can probably identify with the words of one of my fabulously talented friends: "I'm afraid of being seen. I'm also afraid of not being seen." How can those two feelings coexist? For many, there's a part of us that wants to perform. We want to be noticed, acknowledged and applauded. Do … [Read more...]
Hi Honey, I’m Home!
On the front porch of our house, there's a welcome mat that I cross every time I come and go. It's a great spot to wipe the wet Pacific Northwest weather off the bottom of my shoes before coming back inside. Other than that, I rarely notice it. A client session yesterday - and the memory of a great article written by creative self-development coach Jamie Ridler - brought up the idea of a welcome … [Read more...]
The Secret Life of Introverts
Painfully shy. Low self-esteem. No self-confidence. No social skills. Afraid of people. And yes, a loser. How do I even survive in the world, if this is what people think of introverts!?! These were just a few of the words a good friend used to describe an "introvert" when I asked him to define one. He even referred to it as something that may need to be "fixed." Now, I love my friend … [Read more...]
I Am Introvert, Hear Me Roar!
Yesterday I announced on my Facebook Fan Page that I was rolling out a new focus on life and leadership coaching for introverts. Right out of the gate, a woman asked a question that gets at the heart of why I chose this specialty (actually, it chose me, but that's another story!). She shared that she is an introvert then asked, "what are some tips for becoming more extroverted?" The question … [Read more...]
The Truth Will Set You Free!
"What is your truth?" This is a question that comes up frequently during coaching sessions with my clients. As we navigate through a situation or sticking point, the bottom-line question is often "what's true?" We get so caught up in stories about how things "should" be or are "supposed" to work, that we lose touch with our core truth. We spend lots of time listening to others and looking outside … [Read more...]
“Can’t We Do Better Than OK?” & Other Nonsense
About 12 years ago, I was working for a Milwaukee nonprofit as a fundraiser. I was part of a great team of caring people. My wedding day was right around the corner. Life was good. One day, a co-worker was meeting with me in my office. Sally was a very chipper woman, always smiling and in high spirits. She sat across from me and asked, "How are you today?" I responded "I'm doing OK." I'll never, … [Read more...]
Why Affirmations Don’t Work
What you resist, persists. When we're first recognizing that we want to make a change in our lives, affirmations are among the first pieces we try to snap into place in our self-help puzzle. The typical image conjured up when we hear "affirmations" is a person calmly stating what she desires in the present tense and repeating it regularly. "I am happy." "I am healthy and have lots of … [Read more...]
Disagreeing with Dale
I have a bone to pick with Dale Carnegie. He states that in order to "to win friends and influence people" you should "talk about your own mistakes first." He provides several examples, stating "Admitting one's own mistakes--even when one hasn't corrected them--can help convince somebody to change his behavior." Carnegie suggests humility, then praise, then criticism. For example: "I'm not nearly … [Read more...]