You’ve come a long way, baby.
When I started The Introvert Entrepreneur in May 2010, introversion was a topic that hung out at the edges of the room (like many introverts!). A March 2003 article, “Caring for Your Introvert,” was the most popular piece making the rounds (and is still popular 10 years later). Then came along “Introvert Power” (2008/2013), “Self-Promotion for Introverts” (2009), and “The Introverted Leader” (2009). “Revenge of the Introvert” was the Sept/Oct 2010 cover story in Psychology Today. The New York Times bestseller “Quiet” exploded (yes, I’m using that word intentionally) on the scene in January 2012.
It’s been a non-stop cacophony of voices, proclaiming introvert pride, ever since.
Here’s proof: “On Google Trends right now, the term ‘introvert’ was more searched this month than it has been ever in recorded history (it keeps track of Google searches since January 2004).”
Susan Cain calls it a “Quiet Revolution.” The world “revolution” is from the Latin revolutio, meaning “a turn around.” Wikipedia defines it as “a fundamental change in power or organizational structures that takes place in a relatively short period of time.”
There’s no doubt: introverts have been rallying for change. It’s not just the self-help junkies who are talking about introverts; it’s corporations, schools, nonprofits, chambers of commerce and Rotary clubs. It’s the focus of conversations between parents and children around the dinner table. It’s even the dreaded small talk at cocktail parties.
Naturally, in all of these situations, when we talk about introverts, we talk about extroverts. It’s to be expected. Most people see introverts and extroverts as opposites. You’re one or the other. End of story. (Even though we know that’s not true.)
And then there are those who resist labels of any kind, or who think the whole conversation is silly and pointless. They believe that by claiming or naming a particular trait like “introvert,” we’re putting people into fixed categories, limited in description to what we know about that trait.
Here’s my response to that: the statement “I’m an introvert” isn’t a label, it’s information. I agree, labels can be limiting if one chooses to buy into the fear-based definitions of those labels. But why not claim certain characteristics if they tell me something about myself? Why not choose to see them as a path to self-acceptance? I’m a wife, entrepreneur, woman, introvert, feminist, animal lover, etc… all those things could be labels, but to me they are simply words that reflect a particular aspect of my life and choices.
They inform, not define, me.
Rather than being limiting, these “labels” are liberating. They shine the light on the multitude of puzzle pieces that comprise my personality and being. They give me a framework within which to explore who I am and who I’m not. When I find a concept with which I identify, one that prompts me to think, “Hey! That’s ME!”, it opens me up and makes me more of who I am, not less.
I’ve been thinking long and hard about how introverts can be more of who they are, after countless years of being told they needed to be less.
One thing has become clear to me: introverts need to explore who we are apart from extroversion.
I’m convinced that in order to move towards a more objective, independent analysis, we must, in the words of Jungian analyst James Hillman, “learn how to evaluate each issue on its own merits without having to bring up the opposition’s point of view. In therapy, when you have a dream of your mother, for example, you don’t necessarily have to talk about your father as a supposed opposite.” *
Yes, there is value in the comparing/contrasting exercises. And it’s absolutely true that we all exist on an energetic spectrum, with both introverted and extroverted energy within us to varying degrees. We’ll never stop talking about the innie/outtie framework, because it’s informative, valuable, and most of the time, a lot of fun. This is not to imply that extroverts don’t matter. It’s saying the long-term conversation about both energetic types must transcend simplistic “either/or,” black-and-white thinking.
This is why I experience the introvert conversation as a liberation, more than a revolution.
Liberation is about freedom, emancipation, release, relief.
This is what I have heard from introverts over and over again: I’m so relieved to know that I’m not weird or broken. I can start being who I want to be, instead of who others think I should be. I don’t feel like I have to act like an extrovert anymore… I’m finally free to be myself.
A recent post on Salon.com brought forward an interesting notion: that the current introvert revolution is akin to the women’s movement. As women emerged from the shadows, the early discussion most likely centered around how women were different from men and why it mattered. As the movement has matured, it’s less about the contrast, and more about how women are powerful and worthy in their own right. Women (for the most part) have been liberated from being defined in relation to men.
That’s what I wish for introverts. That we be liberated from being defined in relation to extroverts (starting with The Big Five personality traits?). I want us to be released from the polarization that only limits our thinking and possibilities.
There has been and will continue to be value in having the compare/contrast conversation. I’m not suggesting we throw that completely out. I simply hope the revolution moves towards true liberation.
What do you think? Is the introvert conversation making a difference in your life? How? What words best describe for you what we’re experiencing as a society when it comes to understanding introversion?
* From a brilliant interview, not about personalities, but politics: http://archetypeinaction.com/index.php/tools-to-change-society/39-politics-a-rhetoric2/1830-jungian-analyst-explains-the-psychology-of-political-polarization#.UjjdCT_so-c
I love this page …Of course I am an introvert :). And I love the line about “….I can be me, and I am not weird or broken….” but sadly in the “world” I live in, I am the only one talking about it…I read the book Quiet and it set me free, my dad who is an introvert…age 91 he read it and loved it too…but it seems to be a slow – go to understanding the whole “introvert/extrovert” idea and theories and personalities in my “circles”…at least if “they ” don’t get it I do and that’s a good thing for me…. 🙂
Great article Beth! I think that for me there has been a tremendous liberation to go ahead and like what I like and love what I love without comparing myself to anyone else. What I see as a revolution is the recognition of so many that what they have to offer is powerful, not somehow sub-standard because it doesn’t look like what an extrovert offers. To have a large number of people acknowledge their unique greatness and offer it is world changing. Thanks for the awareness you are bringing!
Yes, introvert literature in recent years really has gotten me to a level of self-acceptance, and YOU, Beth, have been the greatest help in that; I am truly grateful to you.
Yes, I now define myself by whom I am, not by negation from the extrovert “norm.” If anything, especially when someone tries to suggest, however mildly, that something is wrong with me because of my introversion, I flip it back on the extrovert, describing, however subtly, how he or she is strange for wanting all of that noise and useless small-talk.
Yes, introvert literature in recent years really has gotten me to a level of self-acceptance, and YOU, Beth, have been the greatest help in that; I am truly grateful to you.
Yes, I now define myself by whom I am, not by negation from the extrovert “norm.” If anything, especially when someone tries to suggest, however mildly, that something is wrong with me because of my introversion, I flip it back on the extrovert, describing how he or she is strange for wanting all of that noise and useless small-talk.
Enjoyed your article, especially your point: ‘ “I’m an introvert” isn’t a label, it’s information ‘. That hit home for me.
I also enjoyed your article!
I am not a person for “labels” though I don’t see my introversion as a “label” I see it as a description of my personally, my character traits, that which defines my life choices:-)
I remember when I took the Myers Briggs test and learned I was an introvert. There was part of me that was embarrassed and wished I were an extrovert. But, thanks to you, Beth, and the introvert revolution I am now proud to proclaim I’m an introvert. I’ve also noticed that more and more people freely share that they are introverts. Sometimes they share it with pride. Yes! I say hooray to that!!!
I think this is the beginning of awareness and it is leading to acceptance, both within our society and for introverts personally. The more we see the value we introverts bring to the world, the more acceptance there will be.
You are doing very important work. I thank you deeply!
Yes, I am still somewhat embarrassed…as folks look at me like “you poor thing”…if I say I am an introvert…but inside I am quite proud!!! 🙂
Introverts & extroverts – opposites? Or just two people who complement each other to make a rich and varied team?