Many times over the past 15 years of my professional life, I have dreaded my birthday.
It wasn’t the getting-a-year-older thing. It was the let’s-all-gather-in-the-conference-room-for-cake-and-forced-fun thing. Or at least, in most offices I worked in, it usually felt like forced fun to me.
It got to the point where if my birthday fell on a weekday, I’d choose to take that day as a personal day, just to avoid the attention. I appreciated the intention, but it just wasn’t my thing.
Now that I’m an entrepreneur and am flying solo (getting by with a LOT of help from my friends), a very small part of me misses the birthday forced fun.
Well, to be honest, I mostly miss the cake.
So if you’re an introvert and you dread the whole office party thing, you can a) take the day off, b) focus on the yummy cake or c) hide. (JOKE) If you’re the one planning the party for an introverted birthday boy or girl, keep it short, simple and casual. No declarations, just a few decorations. And for heavens sake, don’t sing “Happy Birthday” as a group, or if you go out for a staff lunch, don’t ask the wait staff at the restaurant to sing it (pleeeeaaaase).
And if you’re like me, working away alone in a quiet office on your birthday, smile and enjoy the calm. Head down to one of those fancy cupcake shops and splurge on a treat. Tell your favorite barista it’s your birthday and maybe your coffee will be on the house. Acknowledge and celebrate your fabulousness in whatever way feels satisfying to you.
This year, in honor of my 41st birthday (Woohoo! What a great age!) on Sept 16, I’m celebrating by giving YOU a gift.
Everyone who comments on this post or tweets/retweets about it will be entered into a drawing to win one of three copies of my book, “Insight: Reflections on the Gifts of Being an Introvert.” The three lucky winners can opt to receive their copy as either a paperback or Kindle edition. How cool is that!?
Here’s how I’ll make it easy for you to celebrate my birthday with me:
1) COMMENT. In the comment section below, share how you feel about your birthday, forced fun, your best birthday or your worst. Share a favorite quote, give us a weather report or who you think will win the 2012 World Series. It really doesn’t matter… just have fun and keep it clean (and I will request, no politics… just don’t want to go there. Thank you 🙂 ).
2) TWEET. Here’s an example:
Celebrate @introvertcoach’s birthday! RT 4 a chance 2 win her book! Winners announced 9/17/12 www.tiny.cc/insightonamazon #insightgiveaway
This link makes it easy to tweet –> http://clicktotweet.com/Svdf2 [If you make up your own tweet, include the #insightgiveaway hashtag so I can find you!]
Anyone who comments or tweets no later than 11:59pm PST on Sept 16 will be entered into the drawing. Your name will only be entered once, so please don’t spam the comments (I know you won’t) or risk being banned on Twitter for too many of the same tweets.
On Sept 17, I’ll post a short video of the actual drawing and share the link to it here and via social media.
Pretty simple! Please join me in the fun and celebration… with each comment or tweet, I’ll just imagine you’ve brought me a yummy piece of birthday cake (with that really awesome artery-clogging icing that is three parts Crisco, two parts sugar).
PS: Of course, you’re also welcome to share this post on Facebook. I cannot, however, make liking or sharing on FB a condition of entry into the drawing (daggone rules!). If you tag me or The Introvert Entrepreneur, though, I’ll try to keep my eye out and add your name to the hat (shhhh).
Yep, I always take my birthday off to avoid the birthday attention (feels so forced!) at work. I feel ya, girl!Happy, happy birthday! I always feel less alone when I read your stuff – books & blog posts alike!
Birthdays at my former job were the absolute worst. A small office (10 people or so) with an office manager that couldn’t accept the fact that I’d rather skip the hoopla. I always managed to have something to do outside the office around midday.
My, I have just posted on fb, a few days ago, a brave denouncement of my 40th birthday coming in January trying to hmmm 1) get myself accustomed to the fact of turning 40, 2) trying to see how it feels when it is announced to so openly to a public and 3) getting a feel what I really want to do/where to be and with him on that day…. I am sensing here a slight desire to go and try to celebrate it BIG with lots friends! but I will probably end up enjoying that home made piece of vegan cake with my son and my husband, opening lots of greeting cards and emails, reading lovely fb posts/wishes and thinking of that forced-fun 18th birthday my high school friends had organized it for me in my own house! ugh, … well it was OK… Happy Birthday Beth, (ps. I gotta visit you one day, when I am near, at Good Karma).
My, I have just posted on fb, a few days ago, a brave denouncement of my40th birthday coming in January trying to hmmm 1) get myself accustomedto the fact of turning 40, 2) trying to see how it feels when it isannounced so openly to a public and 3) getting a feel what I reallywant to do/where to be and with whom on that day…. I am sensing here aslight desire to go and try to celebrate it BIG with lots friends! but Iwill probably end up enjoying my birthday at home with a …home made piece of vegan cake, sharing it with my son and my husband, opening lots of greeting cards and emails,reading lovely fb posts/wishes and thinking of that forced-fun 18thbirthday my high school friends had organized for me in my own house!ugh, … well it was OK… Happy Birthday Beth, (ps. I gotta visit youone day, when I am near, at Good Karma).
Luckily in the offices that have kept track of birthdays, I’d get a card and my supervisor would bake me a cake. So far my office birthdays have been very introvert-friendly, and I’m rather ok with that!
Happy Birthday! Birthdays at work are just weird. I dont announce my birthday because that is weird for me. I can not do that kind of self promotion, not would I want to make anyone feel like they *have to* celebrate just because we work together. In fact, if I could I would be the one who would bring in my own treats to show how much I like the people I work with on my day. Small gatherings preferred 😉
Happy Birthday. 41 was a great year for me, hope it treats you well.
Thanks, Michael 🙂 I sense it’s going to be an excellent year!
Happiest of birthdays, Beth!!
Thanks, Kristen!! I
i want Insight! 🙂
Happy happy Birthday Beth 😀 have a good one.!
Gosh, I’m beginning to wonder wether I’m really an introvert. Happy Birthday.
My birthday is a holiday that people recognize but businesses don’t close for the day, so my birthday gets lost in hoopla. I let co-workers know about it when they ask my plans for the day, but I don’t expect them to remember when the day comes. If they wish me a happy birthday, I’m pleased but if it goes unnoticed, I don’t mind. If I take the day off, the office assumes it’s for the holiday.I didn’t always have this frame of mind. When I was younger, I’d feel hurt if my birthday went unnoticed among my peers. I realized that people who mattered remembered, although a little reminder in the upcoming days never hurts.
I love how my previous employer handled birthdays – I worked on a large call center floor, and at some point during every month, they put out a large cake for that month’s birthdays (without announcing whose birthdays fell during that month). It worked perfectly as a compromise between my introversion and my extreme love of my birthday. 🙂 I just accepted a new position today, working in a fairly small office within a large agency, and I’ll celebrate my birthday a week into training – I doubt I’ll mention it.
The best birthday for me is one where I make it through the whole day without someone saying Happy Birthday to me. Even family. I just prefer my birthday be a normal day. That’s the best birthday gift you could give me.
I’ve taken my birthday off as a Personal Day for years. After all, it’s _my_ birthday. Why not take a quiet day at home with no work.At some jobs, when I really like the people I work with, I have brought in cupcakes or cake the following day.And yes, please don;t sing or make a big fuss, but I;’d love for you to share some cake with me.
Wow, until I read this, I thought I was the only person who tried to take their birthday off at work. Heck, I usually try to take off the whole week!
Beth, you have such a gift for words. I love it! At 38 I made some decisions to live life on my terms (the movie, Hershey, The Chocolate King gave me perspective on how much a person of vision could make happen between 40-80.) I quit trying to be someone I wasn’t. At 40 I let someone else throw me a birthday party and didn’t step up to do what I felt compelled to do because I wasn’t hosting, so to speak. At 50, I threw my own party, created a National Special Event Day and gave everyone gifts. 🙂 Best party ever! Except for my out of town friends who couldn’t make it. Remember the words of a very wise man who continues to inspire all ages…“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.”“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”–Dr. Seuss, born March 2, 1904 (Born on my birthday)www.ItsCooltoBeYou.com Thank you for the opportunity to share and celebrate YOU! You have greatness in your DNA. Introvert and all.
I had a manager whose birthday is April 1. She _always_ took the day off!
I don’t usually tell people at work when my birthday is. I don’t want a fake fuss. I generally spend my time wearing headphones because some people at my workplace talk loudly and incessantly about superficial things. I prefer to take the day off rather than spend my birthday in the cube farm.
I always take my birthday off. I never like the song Happy Birthday.
Happy birthday! I usually celebrate my birthday for the entire month by making plans one-on-one with all my friends. It’s like a drawn out birthday party where I can talk to each guest individually and rest up in between. It’s the perfect solution for an introvert – and I didn’t even know I was an introvert when I was doing it all those years.Have a great birthday, Beth! (And no need to put me in the drawing – I already have your book. :))
Happy Birthday! I hope you are able to celebrate it in the way you like the most! Save us some cake, BTW. 🙂
Happy Birthday! I think we all celebrate the work that you do, and the knowledge and “Insight” that you share. Thank you. : )
Beth, great idea! Last year at 50 I did the same thing…well almost! Because I am an extrovert, I threw my own party and gave everyone a gift. I wasn’t as social media savvy as you. Go, girl! Happy day. It’s cool to be you. On your birthday and everyday.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Happy Birthday Beth!
Its ya birthday! its ya birthday! enjoy! 🙂
I LOVE celebrating my birthday. The more attention the better. I think it’s a time when my extrovert comes out. Happy birthday Beth. 41 is great!
Wait the 16th? Mine too interestingly enough hah
Happy birthday. I love getting birthday wishes. It makes me feel loved and I don’t ever have to really say anything. And I can smile and giggle and it’s ok.
Happy birthday. I love getting birthday wishes. It makes me feel loved and I don’t ever have to really say anything. And I can smile and giggle and it’s ok.
Thanks for the lovely wishes, everyone – you’ve all brought a smile to my face. And your names go in the hat (read the post, if you haven’t already)!! Elisha, happy birthday to you, too! Great day to be born 🙂
happy bday!
HAPPIEE BIRTHDAY!!!
I identify with your post, Beth. Any kind of group attention like the b’day party can be challenging. I love the idea of going out and splurging on a special cupcake for yourself; I will sometimes buy myself a bouquet of pink sweetheart roses. Thanks for reminding us that there are others out there who feel as we do.
Beth, I never was terribly uncomfortable with the office gatherings, but then they were never quite my favorite occasions, either. Too, I was never in particularly big offices.My public birthdays now are noted and celebrated by my students and black belts/instructors (I operate a martial arts studio), and in graciously and good naturedly accepting their recognition, I know that I show them appreciation and give them some real joy or satisfaction. So, I don’t mind. It’s fun.Happy birthday! Forty-one is a special age; it’s moving into the whole, big second half (or more) of your life!
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday!
Have a very happy birthday!
Happy Birthday! Hope you have enough company to enjoy it but no more. I’m an introvert who does like my turn at the company birthday celebration. 🙂
All the best from me and Bob, Beth. Hope you have a spectacular birthday!
I worked at a big-box retail store many moons ago: we always got our birthdays off with pay – best gift ever! 🙂
I like to spend my birthday with friends, not colleagues because not all colleagues are friends. I take a personal day so I don’t have to deal with people. Introverts, be strong, celebrate your day your way 🙂 Have a wonderful birthday.
squeak99 Nice! Yes, we should spend the day how WE want, not how others want for us. Thanks for that! 🙂
Happy Happy Birthday, All the Best!
Happy Birthday Beth!!! Once again, your post echoed my feelings exactly. When I worked in an office I would cringe at the thought of having to go down to the office meeting room to celebrate yet another birthday (there were 150 of us…..) and make dreaded small talk – the whole thing, so artificial… cringe, cringe… And like you I always took my bday as a vacation day… Have a great one Beth!!!
I like to celebrate my birthday at a nice, dark, quiet and very good restaurant–one preferably without its own variation of a birthday song! Happy birthday to you, Beth, and thanks for all the information you pass along to Team Introvert!
JuliHarvey You’re welcome! Yes, restaurants that just bring free dessert without singing torture are the best 😉
sssssh happy birthday sssssh
bagrust *whisper* Thank you 🙂 *whisper*
Happy day, Beth – any day! I am not on birthdays, for some reason they area reason for someone else’s party. A good dinner with a friend is enough, or even just a phone call from my mom.
SueShore Yes, I think that the “someone else’s party” is true for work – certainly not always or exclusively, but I’m sure it’s at least a small part of the motivation!
I like to celebrate my birthdays with small group of my friends: in Finland we have this thing called saunailta (Sauna Evening) where we go somewhere to drink couple of beers, play some games, some in-depth conversations and of course take a sauna bath. This kind of events are my favorite as introvert. 🙂
TeppoLuoma Oooo, I like the Finland saunailta! Sounds perfect 🙂 I went to a sauna/spa yesterday with a good friend, and it was a marvelous way to unwind and visit.
Happy Birthday, Beth! Thank you for the opportunity to win a copy of your book. My favorite birthdays are those that are planned by a family member with lots of thought about me and not too much hoopla. These are the birthdays I remember most.
SheilaStarkey13 Thanks for sharing, Sheila! Not too much hoopla – you’re speaking my language!
Happy Birthday, Beth! I love your post, and can totally relate! My favorite birthdays are spent at the beach with a few laid back family members… eating my favorite birthday dinner (BBQ Ribs), and having my favorite cake – usually cheesecake, chocolate cake, tres leches cake, or homemade carrot cake – the kind with real cream cheese frosting. I’m a September baby too, so at the beach, we watch the sunset and then build a huge bonfire, where we toast marshmallows and the family chatters about family stuff! Anyway, love your FB posts and you, and I wish your new year will be filled with all your best dreams come true!
Ginfox Oh yes, the beach! Isn’t it great that our birthdays happen in a month when we can still go to the beach! Your celebration sounds wonderful – perfection, actually. Thanks for your kind words and wishes, and I hope your Sept. birthday was or is filled with joy and love 🙂
Happy birthday! We are the same age. 🙂 I like my birthdays quiet and spent with my huband, son, and/or best friend, going out to a nice peaceful lunch and maybe having some cake, or a cupcake from this awesome cupcake place I know.
LorSilverthorne Isn’t 41 fabulous?! I love it already :-). Your birthdays sound lovely – spent with the people you love most.
Hi Beth! I’ve been a quiet follower of yours since before you had such an awesome following. You’ve inspired me a lot. Thanks! I’ll soon be celebrating 2 of my birthdays: My 40th biological birthday and my 5th “new person” birthday. As an introverted highly sensitive person, life was often too overwhelming for me and I had a long history of using substances to numb the intensity out of life. After a divorce about 6 years ago, I hit rock bottom with my life, and suddenly “woke up”. My priorities all rearranged and I discovered a lot about who I really am. Since then, I’ve treated my birthdays quite differently. I used to gather a few friends and party – not too different from how I spent most weekends. Now I usually gather a few of the most important people in my life and cook them all a nice dinner. Sometimes it’ll be outside, like at the beach for a barbecue. As someone who used to take my own life and the presence of my loved ones for granted, I now have a deep connection to my desire for celebrating what really matters in my life: love and honoring the Real Me. Happy Birthday!
Jason_Keen Jason, what a lovely story of transformation you’ve shared here. Thank you! I love that you celebrate two birthdays. You remind us that it’s so important to acknowledge the passages of our lives, those times when we wake up to something new and feel like a different person (even though we are the same person, we’ve often become MORE of what was good and loving within us). Thank you for being here quietly over the years and for choosing to chime in now with your inspiring message 🙂
Looking forward to this!
My birthday is on Tuesday, 2 days from now, and because I am also an entrepreneur I get to work all day and don’t have to think of something special to do.
JamesNeumeister James, Happy Birthday! And, check my video!! http://youtu.be/UXWBf43OC4g
Happy Birthday to you!!!My coworkers forgot my birthday this year and didn’t seem to care that they did when I reminded them about it. While I am not into the whole office party thing either, it is at least nice to have my birthday acknowledged.
I am not particularly disturbed when my birthday slides by relatively unnoticed. A special meal with family is nice, but I certainly do not want a bunch of attention drawn to it. Yikes.
Happy Birthday! My favorite birthday was when I was 19 years old and away at college. No one knew it was my birthday. A college friend and I went to visit her mother. We watched Gone With the Wind while her Mom fussed over us making us hot chocolate from scratch and cinnamon toast. It was blissful!
Happy Birthday Beth! Have a great day!
@Greg Shehan http://youtu.be/UXWBf43OC4g
Thanks, Greg! Heading to an outdoor wildlife park I’ve never been to – hoping to see some beautiful creatures. 🙂 Have a great Sunday!
This is the first time I’ve been to your site and coincidentally today, 9/16, is also my birthday. I was actually feeling kind of sad today because there was a complete lack of festivities about my birthday this year and I turned 35. Somehow 35 felt a little more significant than previous numbers. I’ve been at home with a cold taking care of my toddler all day while my husband worked a 12 hr shift and nobody called except my mother. I was feeling pretty crappy. However, reading your post reminded me of all the birthdays I just wanted to hide and not have anyone notice it was my birthday, especially coworkers, and so I’m going to spend the remainder of today savoring the quiet. Thanks for the perspective!
emilyzc We’ll send you a bunch happy introverted birthday wishes. Feel Better Soon!
vlbatcfcl emilyzc Thank you so much for the birthday wish! You are a thoughtful person 🙂
emilyzc Welcome, Emily! And it’s nice to share a birthday with you :-). I so appreciate the story you share here. Isn’t it interesting to live in that push-pull of “notice!” and “don’t look!” that we can feel on our birthdays. I hope you felt noticed just by virtue of finding this post, and vlbatcfcl’s lovely reply. Wishing you a wonderful birthday (we’re Sept babies, not just Sept 16, right!?)… I hope you enjoyed your peace and quiet 🙂
BethBuelow emilyzc vlbatcfcl I did enjoy the peace and quiet in the end. Thank you! I hope you enjoyed your birthday too! I think that when we are raised in an extroverted culture where there aren’t really alternatives to the revelry, that a part of us may always feel the need to be noticed on our “special day” because that’s the norm. I’m trying to raise my little introverted 3 year old to realize that there are many ways to celebrate one’s birthday other than a big party and it can be up to you to choose. For a toddler that could mean a special hike with Grandpa or a day at the museum. I’m trying to find ways to teach him that it’s ok to be different in the midst of an extroverted culture that revels in the “hey everyone look at me!” holiday. It’s up to you to make it what you want. Interestingly, traditionally in China, birthdays are for celebrating one’s parents not oneself. A different perspective.
emilyzc I like the Chinese tradition! I’ve always wished my mom “Happy Mother’s Day” and Dad “Happy Father’s Day” on my birthday, because it seems like it’s much more appropriate and personal than some arbitrary day in May or June. 🙂 PS: Lucky 3-yr-old to have a mom like you!
I think part of the problem with parties and being an introvert is feeling I have to participate full out like all the extroverts. I have learned that I can stay introverted and just be there with the people – and I’m okay… as long as I don’t have to shoot the sh*t, and can stroll off when I want to. I can do that with family. I can do that at my own parties (it’s my party and I’ll introvert if I want to…) but it’s almost impossible to do at other people’s parties! 🙂
A belated Happy Birthday Beth!!! Hope you had a wonderful day and have a fantastic year!
I hope you enjoyed your birthday, Beth! 🙂 My birthday is on April fools day. I of course get asked a lot of questions about that when people find out. I think for some reason, being born on that day makes people think I’m going to seem a lot more outgoing. Oh well. 🙂
GregShehan I had a manager whose birthday was April 1. She _always_ took that day off from work.
In First belated Happy Birthday Beth…
I want some fewer from you. In coming month one of my best buddy’s birthday and i want some gift ideas from you. would you help me what should i gift to my friend please share your views.
I found this while searching for resources on introversion in the workplace. Overall, I found it helpful… but the irony of tweeting a post about introversion? Twitter is one of the worst things for an introvert. After about a minute or two I have to turn it off or I find myself shouting at it WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP. Too much information too fast. Twitter is the perfect way to overwhelm an introvert.
I love the idea of giving books instead of cards at baby showers. I also give books to kids as gifts other times of the year like Christmas and birthdays. My daughter loves getting new books.
<a href=”http://ideal-gifts-tips.blogspot.com/2013/05/authentic-ideal-gift-for-men.html”>gift for men </a>