I titled this post “How to Stop Thinking and Start Living” not because I had the answer, but because I was hoping you would.
See, I think too much. I live in my head – typical introvert, I think! 🙂
It’s so bad, I even coined a phrase – while on VACATION, for goodness sakes! – “double-think,” as in, “I need to double-think on that one a bit.”
Really!?
Often, thinking “too much” is actually to my benefit. It keeps me from making big goofs, makes me feel prepared, gives me a sense of control, of being thorough.
The downside: it keeps me from making big goofs. We learn from mistakes, don’t we? I have a friend who talks about “accelerating your rate of failure.” How can I fail, and fail fast, if I’m thinking too much? The faster I fail, the faster I’ll succeed.
And all of that feeling prepared, in control stuff? It’s really, well, all in my head. It’s a false sense of comfort. In reality, I can only think enough to be a reasonable, responsible, thoughtful person. Then other people are going to do what they do, and I can only count on my preparation to keep me grounded, not to have all the answers or to have control over the situation.
What happens when we live too much in our heads? We forget we exist below the neck. Our heart doesn’t speak as clearly. Our gut suffers from being ignored. Our hands remain idle. Our feet get stuck in the mud.
We stop feeling and experiencing life first-hand. Everything goes through the fine-mesh filter of our brains, and pragmatism prevails over passion.
A member of The Introvert Entrepreneur Facebook tribe shared, “Sometimes over-thinking can be a retreat FROM feeling, I find, and sometimes an escape from doing, because you have to own what you do and sometimes that’s scary.”
Another shared, “This morning, I’ve been thinking (ha!) that I spend so much time thinking, I neglect to simply FEEL.”
Well said, friends! As long as a thought is in our heads, we don’t have to take responsibility or feel something. It’s purely an intellectual exercise.
It’s the exposing that thought to the world that’s vulnerable. Scary. Risky. Exhilarating. Necessary!!!
One other tidbit of wisdom a Facebook friend wrote: “Sometimes, done is better than perfect.”
Perhaps that’s part of the answer… we have to let go of perfection and expectation, and embrace curiosity and vulnerability. Learn to laugh at ourselves. Accelerate our rate of failure so that we increase the chances of success.
Love and honor the thinker in you, TRUST YOURSELF, and don’t “double-think” to the point that you get stuck in the mud. You have tremendous gifts to give the world, and they will only come out if they are allowed to move from head to heart to hands.
Here’s to living a life of thoughtful action!!
Please share! Do you spend too much time in your head? What helps you to move from head to heart to hands? Share in the comments – but don’t think about it too much… just type!
Featured image borrowed from http://www.chrisauman.com/the-thinker-by-rodin/
I am an introvert too who (obviously) loves to think and can get VERY caught up in my thinking. I've learned to trust that I can let the thoughts come in AND let them go. I've learned to not fight them and to trust that life and my inner knowing will naturally bring me the answer. I've learned to be OK with asking a question but not needing to have an answer. I also have to get my entire body moving (progressive meditation helps) in order to keep everything flowing. Of course, there are those days that I do love to just get lost in my thoughts!
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"Lost in thought" – I forgot about that phrase – thanks for bringing it to the discussion. It's such a great way to encapsulate what happens. Thank you, Lisa P, for sharing your lessons. You are a wise woman 🙂
My recent post How to Stop Thinking and Start Living
Hi Beth, I am an introvert and I do think too much…I think so much that I think I've said the things that I thought to the person intended only to surprisingly realize that I did not…and I thought I was the only one like this… 🙂
Ha, Amorita-sa! So true! I've done the same thing… had to ask "did I just think that or did I actually say it?!" The dialogue in our heads is so rich 🙂
My recent post How to Stop Thinking and Start Living
Excellent post — I think it's something we all struggle with. As you say, the triumph is to *recognize* the over-thinking and move toward doing. Not always easy, but definitely worth the effort.
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Thanks, Susan – as they say, admitting it is half the battle! It is worth the effort, and knowing that we're not alone in our double thinking is helpful – perhaps we can treat our selves with more compassion!
My recent post How to Stop Thinking and Start Living
I so love the post. really a cool one. I think I need this to get going and not just dream or think of things.
Thanks, Wedding Favors. You can do it! Trust that when you leap, wings will grow! 🙂
My recent post How to Stop Thinking and Start Living
Hey Beth, great post. Boy oh boy do I think. I overthink, over analyze to the point of driving myself crazy. And yes, it keeps me from feeling and doing at times. ____I like that you pointed out that it keeps us from failing and sometimes failing is necessary. Hadn't thought of that before, but you're right, every time I fail I learn from my mistakes.
Arden, we certainly can drive ourselves crazy! At least we have great accountability partners to help us get off the gerbil wheel… 😉
My recent post How to Stop Thinking and Start Living
Me over think something? I don't THINK so. LOL
So enjoy reading your posts. Now, I think I have to do something spontaneous! Now!
Darlene, as the saying goes, do one thing each day that scares you… and for us, "scary" just might equal "spontaneous," LOL! Does for me sometimes! Thanks for commenting and sharing your commitment to action 🙂
My recent post How to Stop Thinking and Start Living
Hi Beth,
This is a great post! I especially love this line: "we have to let go of perfection and expectation, and embrace curiosity and vulnerability". I've always been a thinker, planner, and too often a worrier. I try to check in on my thinking. If I'm exploring ideas and setting great things in motion, it's positive thinking. If I'm stuck in a what-if circle or painting myself into a corner of inaction, then it's negative thinking. As long as my thinking is positive, it helps me explore my thoughts, feelings, and dreams – and lay the groundwork for action. Sometimes I get a friendly push from a friend when I've been in the positive thinking for too long. And, sometimes I get the itch to take action and give myself a push.
I often find writing is the first step to get out of my head. Once I've written an idea down, I can play with it or refine it or cross it out or build on it. The idea has move into the tangible realm, and that helps me take the next steps.
Good luck with your journey to find the right balance of thinking for you! 😉
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I used to be terrible for over analysing, researching and preparing the ground for tasks, mainly because I was scared to do them. Whether it was fear of failure, or fair of being laughed at, spending lots of time thinking about doing something was a reason to procrastinate. It’s good to take time to prepare for what you’re about to do, just so long as you balance it with taking action and learning from what you’ve done.
Sometimes thinking too much can cause you to stop your self from making the right decision. Believe in your self and say whats on your mind.
You know what the ironic thing is? I read this post and then proceeded to research (aka finding more things to ruminate about) about analysis paralysis. Time to get off the computer and start living.
Ohh boy am i an over thinker and i have come to realize that it stops me from living life in the moment as it is.I literally wait for moments to happen as i have thought of them in my mind.So basically am stuck
I wonder if there’s any connection between being an Introvert and OCD?
Being an over-thinker can be such a hinderance.
Hmmm yes now I’m thinking again…
Paralysis by analysis syndrome..
Funny thing is – I was thinking something similar to this just today.
I too just keep on thinking… and yes when the thoughts overflow in the mind, there’s too much traffic to the heart, so i give way to writing- jotting down lines, prose and poetry, or just events.. and my thoughts, views, and all voices…. i find writing a good therapy.
Over-thinker and introvert here. It makes school & work much harder than it needs to be sometimes.
🙂
Robert AndJan Best, I don’t know… would have to research that one!
And here I am (a fiercely proud introvert living in an environment full of extroverts) thinking that I do not think enough of what I am supposed to think and then start thinking again.
Haha yes. RE: the quote…I have been known to retrace my steps over the past 10 minutes to try and find a trigger point for whatever it was I was thinking. How many times have you been disappointed by realising that it was actually not very interesting or insightful if you manage to re-locate the thought!? 🙂
Absolutely agree. It’s something that can really hinder my creative process. Jumping to early into analysis/editing prevents the true essence of the art space to flourish and be. When I overthink projects in the early stages I over-complicate them, confuse myself, and lead me to overwhelm and burnout. You’re right…feeling stuff can be scary!
I really wish there was a quick and easy “unlike” button for things like this… There’s no such thing as thinking too much, if you think you’re thinking too much, you’re probably not doing it properly…
Jacob, thanks for commenting. I respectfully disagree that “there’s no such thing as thinking too much.” And to say that if we think we’re overthinking, we’re “not doing it (thinking) properly” is a bit judgmental. Who decides what’s the proper way to think? I think that’s up to each individual to decide if his or her mental processing is productive or destructive.
What most people mean by “over-thinking” is ‘unproductive thinking’. Essentially spending far too much time thinking about things you do not or should not need to, to a point where it causes mental fatigue and presents possibilities most people wouldn’t worry about.
If you don’t get it then you’re lucky. Unfortunately for many of us it’s a real issue. There is no need to be negative about someone discussing it. Simply don’t think about it, eh? 🙂