Since this is the time of year when we spend time in reflection on the things we’re grateful for, I thought I’d turn that idea inward to my own personality.
It may seem silly. After all, wouldn’t I naturally be grateful for who I am, for what makes me, me? Not necessarily… since turning my focus to introverts, I’ve become aware that some people see introversion as something to be changed or fixed, or even as a curse! And there’s no reason to judge or negate that feeling; it’s a natural reaction to a society that places a higher value (at least on the surface) on extroverted behaviors.
That said, there are lots of reasons to celebrate being an introvert. This is my personal list, to get the celebration started…
- Depth of Curiosity: I have an intense need to know. This need ranges from the superficial (I had to literally sit on my hands while watching a movie last week, holding myself back from running to IMDb for info) to the profound (shadow work and leadership). Bonus: being curious makes me better at annoying small talk!
- Ability to be alone: It’s impossible to overstate how important this is for me as a solopreneur. I appreciate being able to work for long stretches with only my cats for company. I hadn’t thought too much about this until an extrovert friend recently said, “You’re lucky you’re an introvert, you don’t mind working home alone. I’m about to go stir crazy!” Lucky, indeed!
- Quiet Energy: My energy tends to be a calming presence, which means I don’t take up too much space in a room or conversation. And I don’t need to take up a lot of space. I have a greater influence when I am intentional and deliberate in my speech and presence.
- Close Listening: This makes me a good coach. I can listen “in between the words” to what my client is saying, as well as hear what he’s saying without thinking about what I’m going to say when he’s done talking.
- Introspection: Since childhood, I’ve been fascinated with my inner world. I’m grateful for the tangible proof of that fascination: stacks of journals in my closet, chronicling my life from first kiss to marriage.
- Close Friendships: Growing up, we had astrological plaques in the hallway that gave quick insights to our sign. I’m a Virgo, and I remember two things from my plaque: it said that my “emotions run deep” and that rather than lots of acquaintances, I have a few, close friends. So true! And how I love that. My strong preference for quality over quantity means I’ve developed a chosen family based on mutual love and respect.
- Self-Contained: I’m pretty easily amused. It doesn’t take much to entertain me; give me a book, a place to nap, my laptop, and I’m generally good to go with very few accessories. This makes me relatively low maintenance and a fairly cheap date :-).
7.5 Look Before Leaping: This is one of the core traits of an introvert. We like to observe before jumping in. This is a huge asset, as it keeps us from seriously unintentional actions and big-time goofs.
However, this point is 7.5 for a reason: part of me really appreciates the caution, and part of me really wants to be able to throw caution to the wind just a little bit more. I’m a Recovering Perfectionist… it’s hard to leap before looking, because the mess I create could be overwhelming. But the operative word there is “could.” Some of the best ideas and breakthroughs come from being willing to make a big stinking mess. My growth edge for 2011 is to trust myself to do more leaping… I’ll simply do it the introvert way, with my eyes wide open.
[You can see one example of 1 Beth a’leaping at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NreteW8blc … it’s my audition video for “Ready for the Stage.” If you like it, please share and comment!!]
Add your gratitude! What about your introverted personality are you most grateful for? And if you’re an extrovert, what aspect of your “inner introvert” do you most appreciate?
This is a great list!
I can relate to almost all of them. Weirdly enough, for an introvert, I can have overwhelming energy at times…and well, I sometimes leap without looking.
My favourite introvert personality trait is my sense of humour. Which, people wouldn't necessarily immediately associate with introvertness. (Hmm, between my Canadianisms and my made up words, I'm creating a lot of red squigglies.) Yes…as I was saying, my favourite trait is my ability to stay focused and not distracted…whoops.
Back to introvert and humour. (No! the "u" is not an error) Funniness comes from curiosity, thinking quickly (inside my head) and making unusual connections. It's about taking in information and combining it in strange ways. And it's a way to entertain myself. Even though comics are usually seen as outgoing people, I'm betting a *lot* of them (maybe even most of them) are introverts.
And Yay you for throwing caution to the wind and taking big leaps. I predict 2011 will be a fun ride for you!
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Patty, you are funny, extra "u"s and all 😉 I know about your leaping before looking, based on my experience of you in our Improv for Introverts workshop. It's inspiring! And it is really interesting when you consider all of the funny folks who are introverts: David Letterman, Steve Martin, Johnny Carson, Jerry Seinfeld (and I'm sure there are funny women, too… like Patty K!).
Here's to lots o' leapin' introverts in 2011!!!
My recent post 75 Reasons I’m Grateful to be an Introvert
So glad Patty K pointed over here! Love the list!!
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Karen, I'm glad Patty K pointed you here, too! Thanks for chiming in! Your blog made me smile… I hope your Thanksgiving was more happy than cranky 🙂 And what you wrote about reading Tolle? I totally get that. What helped me was listening to him on Oprah's Soul Series. I found myself able to absorb what he was saying much easier, which is odd for me, because I'm more of a reader. You might want to give that series a listen (it's free on iTunes).
My recent post 75 Reasons I’m Grateful to be an Introvert
I can relate to all of those. Thanks for shedding the light on us introverts and the fact that we are robust and successful in our own way and we don't need to be anything different.
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Catherine, you are very welcome! It's nice to learn about your work; I read your latest post and you're making me put new meaning to the expression "happy as pie." And while I'm shedding light on introverts, could you shed some of that warm Hawaiian light up here on the Pacific Northwest? 😉 Keep on being your fabulous self!
My recent post 75 Reasons I’m Grateful to be an Introvert
I love this list, too, Beth. Hey, we introverts ARE pretty cool, aren't we? Seriously, I exhibit all of these, except maybe for #7.5. I am famous for my leaping before looking. Sometimes it works well and sometimes the consequences are disastrous. : )
But the one I love the best is #1: depth of curiosity. Drives Bob crazy that I am constantly posing questions that start with, "Why…" or "What would happen if…" . He wonders why I can't just let things be. But, with that, comes the other half, which is creativity. Like Patty, I love analogies and thinking of things in different ways. At Bob's sister's garage sale, I got my husband to play a little game, "What else could this be?" We took an object and traded ideas back and forth, brainstorming what else this object could be. Works particularly well with gardening and mechanic's tools. : )
Oh, Beth, I meant to tell you: We tried to install Intense Debate on my blog (took 3 days to import 3 years worth of posts!), only to learn that the name "Judy Dunn" is already taken and I would have to call myself something else. You are lucky to have an uncommon name! So, back to the drawing board. : (
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Judy, that's a bummer about IntenseDebate! With all the WP Brainpower in your household, I'm sure a solution will be found!
Curiosity is a wonderful thing. I can't imagine not being intellectually and emotionally curious. As you point out, it's a path to creativity, and it helps us connect the dots in ways that haven't been done before. I've played the game you mention, and all I can remember was using a trash can as the "what else?" object. Sounds like a fun game to play on a long car trip 😉
My recent post 75 Reasons I’m Grateful to be an Introvert
What a wonderful post! Yes, it can be hard to appreciate qualities that often aren't valued in our society. My favorite thing about being an introvert is how much more independent I can be–I don't need other folks or lots of company to feel healthy or recharged, I just need a quiet room 🙂
I also understand the fear of making a big ol' mess of things when jumping into something. I've gotten better by looking at it like cleaning. (As a Virgo, maybe this will appeal!) You know that moment when you've undertaken a huge cleaning project and everything around you is in utter chaos? Papers everywhere, odds and ends strewn about every surface…it's really easy for me to panic at this point and feel like nothing is ever going to be okay or organized again, and I just need to keep in mind that by the time I'm done, I'll feel much better and might even find a few things I forgot I'd had along the way. (Does that make sense? Too trite, maybe?)
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Eileen, that makes perfect sense 🙂 Are you sure you can't see my office from where you are!? 🙂 Yes, out of chaos comes order and even new discoveries. Thank you for the analogy, which provides a nice reframe…. and for sharing your favorite thing about being an introvert! I'm with you on that one!
My recent post 75 Reasons I’m Grateful to be an Introvert
Beth – This is a great list. You got me thinking about the people I know who are introverted and have outgoing social skills. There certainly is pressure in our culture to be extroverted, but it also seems to me that as we age, we grow and change. We continue to develop new skills, whether those are quiet listening and curiosity (for extroverts) or enjoying talking to strangers and taking leaps.
I agree with Patty that not all introverts have calm energy (you certainly do) nor do all extroverts have revved up energy.
The beauty of your your list is its truth for you.It can be a touch point for self-acceptance and self-appreciation. You also invite each of us to look inside at what we appreciate about ourselves, introverted or extroverted or . . .
Since I am both I and E, and a Libra, the dance of balance is often present. How I find my balance is to go inside — to reference myself, my core essence, instead of my external environment — to find my balance.
Thanks for the wonderful Thanksgiving reflection!
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An addition to Number 5, Introspection… The creativity wellspring isn't journalling for me, it's ideas for pictures.
Beth, so glad that you and Patty K – hi Patty 🙂 – are talking about introversion, it's helping me with better self-understanding, of not being weird or broken. Still a work in progress 🙂
PS We spell humour with a 'u' here in Australia, too.
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Tangerine Meg, thanks for sharing your insights! And I agree, it's wonderful to have voices like Patty's telling the real story about what it means to be an introvert. So powerful! I hope I'm always a work in progress 😉
I love your art!! "Orange Cat in the Big Chair" makes me smile. Beautiful!!!
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Beth, this is such a great post for Introverts AND Extroverts. I mean, how often do we sit down to list all of the things about us that we love, are grateful for, and are actually assets rather than liabilities?
We (read, me) spend too much time admiring the greatness of others, while leaving our own unacknowledged and celebrated.
Maybe the qualities of introverts are so undervalued because we fail to extoll them ourselves!
Thank you for sharing a great coachable moment in this post by setting a great example.
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By the way, Beth, love your video! Great stepping out of the box 🙂
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Beth, I'm always pleased to find another introvert, online or in person. I've always felt the biggest advantage is being self-contained and able to amuse myself. The biggest disadvantage? Having to act extroverted at times, then going home completely drained by the effort! Looking forward to spending more time on your site.